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Akashic Records On...: Each week, we feature a newly channeled topic based upon the questions YOU submit. We ask the Keepers your questions, and post selected excerpts from the answers here. On Raising Children
How important is it for a couple to be married before having children?
From the perspective of the Akashic Records, if you are defining marriage as a legal or social contract, it is not very important at all. If you define marriage as a soul contract and a commitment that has been made between the two people, an energetic bond, then it is very important.
Every child that comes into the world has a Divine, all-knowing soul and therefore every person in the world has a Divine, all-knowing soul. Each of you chooses where to be conceived, how to be conceived and where and in what situation to be born. You negotiate with your biological parents before you are even conceived. At a soul level, you understand what their lives are meant to bring them and therefore, what being their child will involve for you. Each of you sets yourselves up with a “perfect mess” -- the perfect situation that will bring your gifts, your strengths, and will also bring to you the sacred wounds and challenges that will lead you to those gifts and strengths. Ultimately when a child is conceived you can trust that child chose to be conceived into that situation and that environment.
That being said, it is vitally important that the adults who are conceiving a child work with as much integrity as possible. Meaning that as you choose to conceive a child, or choose to maintain a pregnancy, it is vitally important that you mindfully and consciously set up relationships that will support the child's life. Those relationships are vitally important not only in regard to the fellow biological co-parent, but it is also true in regard to the relationships you have in your life that form the fabric of the life the child will come into. It is vitally important that you be just as mindful of the other adults that you invite into the child's life as you are with the relationship with the co-parent or co-parents. If you have a relationship that is unhealthy with a mother, a brother, a friend, then it is vitally important that you bring yourself into alignment with that relationship before conceiving the child or remove that relationship from your life before conceiving a child. In a sense you could say that the choice to have a child creates a calling for you to live your life with more intention and integrity.
So in a sense, the question about marriage is actually a question about community. It is the responsibility of every parent, either biological or adoptive, that you ask the same questions of all your relationships and you adjust those relationships so that what you might look for in a co-parent you also look for in the fabric of community that will surround you as a parent. Make sure that you are an integrity and that you have asked for appropriate commitments from your friends and loved ones to support that child, or to stay out of the way or to cause as little harm as possible to the child. Ultimately the legal contract of marriage matters far less than the energetic and social contracts that you make and hold together in your life in general and how those will affect your child.
It's common for most children these days to be raised by two working parents or by a single parent who works. Is this dynamic good for children and parents? What do the Records show about this trend?
As with all things, this trend is occurring for a divine purpose and this trend is both a result of and a driving force for helping you expand and evolve as a human family. You are in the midst of questioning and dissolving the aspects of the traditional marriage model that no longer work. The traditional marriage model was not the original model for humanity. Your original model was communal. The earliest human beings favored communal rather than the biological relationships. Community members may not have even remembered conceived the child because ultimately a child belonged to a community, and all of you belonged to each other.
The model that favored the biological parents as being the primary caregivers evolved out of necessity when human beings met times of hardship that created isolation or dissolution of communities. At first this happened only in great traumas when tribes were disbursed. Over time that biological connections became privileged in different parts of the world among particular groups or communities.
Over the process of tens of thousands of years, that biological connection became more and more privileged in some cultures, and eventually that biological privilege helped plant the seeds that eventually grew into patriarchy.
Over time, as patriarchy evolved, as the oppression of women evolved in different ways throughout different societies, you eventually led yourselves to the model in which men were expected to fulfill a certain role in child rearing and women were expected to fulfill a different role in childrearing. Men and women felt a great deal of pressure to fulfill those norms and therefore were unable to ask themselves that they as an individual unique and gifted individual, wanted most to bring the world and what role they most wanted to play.
The focus on biological rather than community connection led to a set of limitations that worked well for many generations. As you grow beyond those limitations, you eventually feel trapped -- whether it was trapped in the role of going away to earn money rather than being with your children or trapped in the role of being with your children rather than going out and doing other work in the world. (The limitations you have grown out of are mostly based on sexism and it will serve you to listen to the Healing Sexism channeling on Ascension Radio in order to help you understand the potential benefits of dissolving the nuclear family model.) The benefit ultimately is that it frees men and women to begin to resolve sexism as it has oppressed them in their lives and to find again, their unique individual power, their personal sense of worth and their personal calling in the world.
Some of you are truly called to raising children; others of you are called to doing other things. Most of you are called to do some of both. Because a child requires full attention from adults, yet most of you are called to do things other than raising children, it therefore works best for you to cooperate as adults and raise children in communities or small groups so that a child receives attention, affection, and guidance from a large number of thoughtful, caring adults. Each adult gives some attention to the child and other attention to their work...
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